I thought this whole "being an adult" would be easy.

Pro and Cons Of Being Back At Work

Well, I’m finally back at work normally.  It has its pros and cons.

Pro: Money!  Though I still don’t have much now that I’m playing catch up with bills and the fact that my account is so badly in the negative that it brings tears to my eyes. Automatic payments are a blessing (since you’ll never miss one) and a curse (because they still take money even when you don’t have any and then Bank of America is all, “Ooh look you have overdrawn 3 times, here are three separate fees for the overdrawing making you poor” Which to me makes no sense. Why are you making me poorer than I already am? How is that helping me? Don’t you think that if I had money to deposit I would so I wouldn’t see the numbers in my bank account be such a bright right with a GIANT negative sign next to it? )

Con: I hate my job.  It’s exhausting, the postmaster has no fucking soul within his body, I’m surrounded by old people, the post office is illogical and its just all around depressing to be there and my uniform makes me look fucking awful. Seriously.  It looks like my body is just a giant box.  And its itchy and caused a rash to happen on my stomach.

Pro: I’m by myself most of the day and get to listen to all the show tunes and 90s pop a girl can ask for on her iPhone.

Con: Heavy packages.  Seriously heavy and huge. My arms only stretch out so wide. Not to mention that I have ginormous boobs that naturally get in the way

Pro: Less time at the office. Refer to reasons as to why i hate my job.

Con: Working Sundays and holidays doing Amazon Prime delivery. (Including Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years Day) Yeah..I’m not happy about that. I don’t mind working labor day or columbus day or veterans day, but holidays that are meant to be spent with “family” I would like to have off for matters of sleeping in, drinking heavily, and taking naps and watching corresponding tv specials. Is that so wrong?

Con: Working outdoors.  Which means layering up on clothes and the temperatures are only going to continue to drop. Theres only so much the truck heater can do when you have to keep one window open so you can distribute mail to the mailboxes.  Not to mention that I am not looking forward to driving an old ass truck in the freaking snow.  It’s a giant fear so cross your fingers for me that this winter, snowfall will be at a minimum, like dustings of snow.

Meanwhile, the whole time I wasn’t working I was applying to jobs like crazy.. If they wanted me the pay wasn’t high enough for me to be able to survive.  And the jobs I really wanted didn’t want to hire me.  And that blows because I am stuck at my job until I can find the time to apply and interview for new jobs.

Also this is the first day off I’ve had in 10 days and I don’t know when my next one will be. Actually wait,  I do know. Its more than likely the day that I said I couldn’t work because my sister got tickets to see Trans Siberian Orchestra’s christmas concert and the show is during the middle of the day on a Sunday. So that’s only a week and a half away, I can do it, right? I got this, sorta.







The Search Continues

I should be blogging more, but it’s hard when i have no inspiration or cause to write. I’m still continuing my search for a new job. I have applied to so many different places, that I seem to have lost track all together. I hate the ‘waiting it out” period to hear back.  A lot of jobs that I’ve applied to probably won’t even get back to me until next month, which is good and bad. I want to be done with the Post Office, I really do, unfortunately next month is going to be so busy with it being the holiday season. If anyone calls me in for an interview, theres a slim chance I’d be able to take time out of my day to go.  My goal of finding a job while I was on light duty has ultimately failed. It also really sucks when you do hear back from an employer and they reject you, even though you know you’re more than capable of owning the position you applied for. I just have to keep a positive mindset on this.. I will find a job that will replace what I have now.

I did get a delivery job with a new app thats in my area, but its so new that no one really knows about it and its still in beta testing, but hopefully it works out.  I was really hoping to get GrubHub and I sent in my background check info but I haven’t heard anything back, which I find odd.  Im perfectly capable of picking up food from a place and driving it to the orderer’s place of residence or business in the lower fairfield county area. It’s not rocket science, I think I got this. I just couldn’t promise that I won’t take a bite out of your food, kidding, kind of.

I hope that by the end of 2015 I can look at my bank account and see a comma, even if its just for like 10 minutes between getting it deposited and then having to pay bills.

I’m Worth More Than $10 An Hour

I’ve been going on a lot of interviews recently, and as great as that sounds, its frustrating.  Being on the job hunt drains me physically and mentally. I read through all of these job postings every day and know that I have certain skills that they list and that I can acquire other skills if they just gave me a chance, but unfortunately most employers won’t even consider me without a degree. Its a stupid piece of paper that, in all honesty, doesn’t measure my intelligence or my skills as a worker.  Some of the dumbest people I know somehow got through college and graduated….George W. Bush comes to mind.  A C average student at Yale who (miraculously) became president, but could barely put two sentences together that seemed cohesive or made any fucking sense whatsoever.

It’s also frustrating that if I get to the interview and it seems like a job that I can handle and achieve, the pay is low.  What adult can live on $10 an hour?  To top it all off, I live in one of the most expensive parts of the country.  Gas prices are way higher than the national average, rent is through the roof, and not to mention ridiculous property taxes on my car, the high cost of health insurance, and loads of other expenses….These companies expect me to bust my ass for them, but it takes me a whole hour to afford a meal at McDonald’s? That’s just not right.  This country and states need to step up their game when it comes to approving an increase on minimum wage.

I like what Bernie Sanders has to say about this topic.  He states, and I’m paraphrasing, that if you work 40 hour workweek, you shouldn’t be living in a state of poverty. And high and mighty Republicans are like, just go to school and get a better job.  Most of us who are struggling financially, don’t have either the time or the money or combination of both, to go to school.  It’s all a catch 22.  Some of the most difficult jobs I’ve had are the ones where I’ve been paid the lowest.  Another argument that congress has on this subject is that if they increase minimum wage to $15 an hour, that companies would have to lay off  employees and businesses will close, and thats just not the case.  If people have more disposable income, they will eat out more, they will shop more, they can take time off, charge their battery, and perform better in the workplace.

Countries like the Netherlands and Switzerland and France only work 30-35 hour workweek. And any job that you have pays well.  The Netherlands also has free health care and free higher education which makes everything accessible to everyone whatever your upbringing was.  It’s countries like this that we should be looking to.   The Netherlands have the highest amount of happy people per capita.   Happy people means less crime and more money in the economy.

If I could afford to get a new passport, I’d be hopping on a plane and moving to the Netherlands and find someone to marry. Unfortunately I’m stuck here in the fucking US of A. The land that is supposed to be about freedom and doing whatever you want, but in hindsight is really about paying into the system so that the rich keep getting richer and the poor will remain poor unless a miracle happens.

If you’re against the minimum wage being $15 across the country, heres the thing. Even if everyone got an education and a degree and higher paying jobs, there are still going to be people who need to serve your food when dining out, theres still going to be people who need to clean up after your dirty asses in schools and hotels and restaurants. Don’t ever look down on the people who are doing you a service, more than likely they are harder workers than you’ll ever be and they really know the value of a dollar in this country.

When did “alone” become a bad thing?

Source: When did “alone” become a bad thing?


I enjoy eating alone as well.  It’s soothing.  My favorite is going to dinner by myself at a nice restaurant.  I’ll order wine and sit down and read a book. It’s comforting and apparently an anomaly to enjoy ones’ own company. I get to eat ALL of the bread in the basket.  I get to order whatever I want, take home all of the leftovers, and can always say yes to ordering dessert. (Because sometimes on dates when guys are jerks they say no to dessert even though they didn’t ask you, but thats when I decide I don’t like them anyway and interrupt and ask about whats on the dessert menu and proceed to order what I want anyway. Because fuck guys who pull that shit. You don’t get in my pants without including dessert in the meal plan) If you can’t enjoy your own company out on the town, how do you expect other people to like you?

One Should Hold Their Tongue

Im ticked off tonight.  Every time i get a moment of happiness, someone in my house has to bring me down.

I had a job interview today, and it went really well.  Its for a brand new restaurant in the city that I grew up in.  The restaurant itself is a sister store stemming from two previous restaurants in NY state with the same concept and food.  The head chef/owner has been on Chopped and won.  I was told to come back to do a shadow shift, something that is completely normal in the food industry.

My brother in law completely shat on it. He’s not aware how much a food server can make in Fairfield County.  He doesn’t believe that a restaurant that already has an established clientele will do well in a newly developed part of town with top notch restaurants and brand new apartments that attract young professionals with disposable income.  Which, by the way, the median income of a food server in this area is about 30,000 when working in a somewhat nice restaurant.

He also basically told me that I’m a fuck up. That I’ve been making a lot of mistakes (which I’m unsure what those would be.) He thinks I should stick to the job at the post office even if I am completely miserable there.  He’s (supposedly) worried about my ankle, even though I have more of a risk hurting myself working for the post office (uneven lawns, wet leaves, acorns, not-so seamless driveway to road, broken steps, aggressive dogs, driving a mail truck) than in a restaurant working in the front of house. My ankle isn’t going to get stronger unless I work on it, plain and simple. I can wear an ankle brace, it’s not like I haven’t done it before.. I can also take the train to work.  It’s a 10 minute walk from the train station to the restaurant, reducing my need to drive in bad weather, if need be.

I just wish that certain people would hold their tongue. I know that I’m good in food service, and honestly “desk jobs” don’t hire someone without some sort of degree, which is something I lack.  I have proven time and time again throughout my work history that I have moved my way up into the ranks, and usually I do it pretty fast.  So why does he have so little faith in me and my decisions? The great thing about restaurants is, there are always more restaurants that people can work.  Also, this place plans on cross-training every person in the front for every position, so I finally get to be a bartender, something that I’ve always wanted, but couldn’t find a place to do on the job training.  Instead of worrying, or acting like an asshole, why can’t he just be happy for me? Stop looking at what you think is “negative” and see the positive in everything.

I’m never going to have a “traditional job”.  I’m always going to go on the path less travelled, because I’m a creative type and thats what we do.  I like having different challenges thrown at me.  I hate monotony and the post office is full of it.  The same people say the same damn phrase at the same damn time every morning.  It’s the most annoying thing ever. I kind of want to punch 3/4 of the people at the post office. Mainly because they are all miserable old people or because most of what they say is the same gibberish I hear every single morning I walk in.  And that might just be the giant age gap that is between. Also because you’re never working as a team toward the same goal, its sort of “every man for himself” mentality,  I’ve wanted to punch past coworkers at Starbucks and the previous bakery I worked at, but it wasn’t all of them collectively, it was like one or two people at a time, mainly because they couldn’t “get” the job.  The easiest tasks were giant obstacle courses to them.  Or I found them to be extremely annoying. However, I’ve always worked with people around my age, give or take about 10 years. Being apart of a team that works together to reach its goal (which is clearly tip money) everyone grins and bears it because we all want the same end result. Also when you work around awesome food and drinks and people, staff tends to get along more.


Head aching

Voice scratchy

Nose stuffy

Chest wheezing

Throat tickling

Cough phlegmy

Fever spiking

Hot Toddy making

Tea drinking

Honey coating

Lemon squeezing

Pill taking

Nose blowing

Tons of sleeping

Yup, first cold of the season.

Checking In

Hello readers!

I have been slacking for a bit, sorry. I didn’t even do my weekly tv recap, but I’ve also been super sick with a chest cold since last weekend. That little tickle in the back of my throat got to me and before I knew it I was dealing with a stuffy nose, sinus headaches, and an unrelenting cough for 4 days.

I’ve also been a bit depressed. Since launching a GoFundMe, I’ve only received $110 from 2 people. One of my best friends, who lives in Colorado, and my other best friend’s mom.  I wasn’t expecting much out of each individual person on my so-called “friends” list on Facebook, but $5 or $10 bucks would’ve sufficed from a bunch of them.  And really, thats not much to ask for.  I wouldn’t be spending the money on a night out or on something material, but putting it towards bills so that I don’t fall behind on them. But no, people aren’t willing to part with their money to help me out even just the tiniest bit.  So FUCK THEM!! The next time they require my help, I’m turning the other way.  In reality, this whole process has stung me quite hard. And I feel like being passive aggressive about it and making a new Facebook and limiting who gets to see it.

On a different note, I did my first 5K today!!! It was the Color Run, the happiest 5K ever! And it really is. If you don’t know about it, you run/walk/jog/dance for 3.1 miles, but along the route they have stations in which they throw colored corn starch on you and your clothes. It’s not timed and everyone is super encouraging. After you cross the finish line theres a bit of a party that goes down.  The DJ will play songs and people dance and when the beat drops on a song, there is the colorful cloud of dust over the crowd. It’s pretty awesome. Clearly I didn’t run, with my ankle being what it is.  I was fueled by adrenaline and a muscle relaxer.  My left leg was hurting more than my right foot for a good portion of the time. I did not partake in the party afterwards.

By the time I finished I could feel my ankle going downhill. I was also super tired. I hadn’t done much cardio for the past 4 months. I can’t wait to do it again next year. It was loads of fun and definitely put me in a good mood.  Hopefully I’ll be able to run a good portion of it the next time around. My next 5K might be the Ugly Christmas Sweater Run.   It sounds hilarious and I would probably end up dressing up as a Christmas dinosaur.  I have a dinosaur onesie that has a tail and you pull the hood up and it has eyes and teeth. Maybe I’ll also be that if I get to participate in SantaCon this year too.

When I got home, I had to shower immediately. The colors looked awesome as they were going down the drain..  I then slept for about four and a half hours and have been icing my ankle ever since.  It ballooned up.  I probably shouldn’t have participated, but I couldn’t resist.  I set a goal for myself earlier this year to go and finish that race and even though I was injured, I wasn’t going to let that bring me down.


I hate that I’m going through this feeling alone. I feel like I’ve become a burden to my family, constantly asking for help.  The last thing I want to do is ask for money.  It’s me admitting that I’m struggling financially and it blows.  I can’t help that I’m still having problems with my injury and it forces me to be on light duty at work.. And my job isn’t meant to be “light duty”.. Even the light duty I’m on is damaging.  I’m standing for 2-3 hours straight.  That’s not good for someone with a sprained ankle who has to wear an orthopedic boot on her foot to get around. I still suffer with pain and swelling two and half months later.

It’s like admitting defeat. It’s a blow to my psyche.  My family can’t afford to keep bailing me out when my tiny paycheck comes in.  So I’ve now asked for help from my friends and extended family. And the response has been underwhelming.  I know everyone has their own shit that they’re going through and their own struggles, but I’m the kind of person that when someone I know and love asks me for help, I give what I can to them. However,  often when I’ve asked for support or help in the past, its a rarity that it comes along, so I don’t know why I’m so surprised that hardly anyone has responded to me.

It’s discouraging to think that I had friends who I felt would do anything that they could for me, when in reality I feel like they couldn’t give two shits. It would be one thing if they let me know that they were thinking about me and wish they could help, but no one has really said anything.  Maybe it’s one of those situations where they think that I expect them to contribute a small chunk of money, like $100 when in reality, I’m actually hoping for a bunch of people to donate $10 to collectively add up to a larger sum later on.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to deal with this ankle and the fact that I can’t physically do my current job.  I don’t even want to work there anymore for various reasons. I’ve been applying to other jobs, but who knows when I’ll hear back from anyone. All I know is, I’m taking this day by day, but it’s really starting to take a toll on my well-being.

I need your help

If you’ve read previous blogs pertaining to my recent struggles with an injury, well things haven’t gotten any better. RECAP: I sprained my ankle pretty badly at the end of July while I was working.  I’m still on light duty 2 and a half months later which means Im barely getting 12 hours a week.  I’m not being compensated for any lost wages from the Department of Labor because I’m “working”.

Now I need your help, read more about my story here.

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