About a month ago, my brother-in-law finally bugged my sister enough about getting another dog. Every day he would show her a picture of a different puppy that needed to be rescued. She finally caved when she saw a very handsome,  tiny blonde that was from Tennessee. He was born in a puppy mill and was in a kill shelter when a local rescue group from CT was transporting him and about a dozen other puppies and dogs up north.  We had been told that he was a golden retriever and shih tzu mix… I know that’s a strange combo, however we already have two shih tzus and we thought that he would end up being about 25 pounds. BOY, WERE THEY WRONG.

When the initial pick up/drop off happened. He was handed to my sister and brother-in-law with dried poo dripping all over his butt, on his tail, and al over his legs and back paws.  They brought him home, gave him a bath, and THEN introduced him to the other two dogs. The two shih tzus were not happy.  We take him to the vet and it turns out that he has TWO different parasites in his system that are making him have diarrhea, being underweight, risking passage to the other dogs, and all around just feeling like crap.  However, he was so happy to be in a home even though he had to be completely separated from the other dogs while his meds kicked in.  He was an angel those first couple of weeks. He never peed where he wasn’t supposed to.  He was mainly quiet and would “yip” until he found his actual voice. And all he wanted to do was frolick and play fetch and cuddle and kiss you.

Fast forward until now. He started off as seven pounds.. and now he’s pushing 25. He EATS EVERYTHING he can get his mouth around. We have officially found out that he is a Labrador Coonhound mix and that means HE DOES NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Trying to go to sleep in a freaking nightmare.  He cries, whines, and barks until he tires himself out and that whole process takes about 45 minutes.  Every time I take my eye off of him for one second, he’s eating the other dogs food, chewing on mulch, or attacking the daffodils in the front yard. Last night he chewed up my very expensive flip flop. It has a ton of tiny little teeth marks, chunks bitten (and probably swallowed) off, the small part of fabric on it ripped apart. He’s constantly pissing off the other two by pouncing on them, barking right into their face, and wrapping his giant mouth around their tiny bodies. My fear is that he might accidentally kill one of them. I’ve stepped in more wet spots these past couple weeks than I’ve ever had before. He’s making my normally dormant allergies flare up. He’s kicked me in the face, bitten my toes and fingers, and every time you look at him there is GUILT in his eyes. The other day he farted so badly that he smelled it and then got up and sat back down in a different spot. He’s a fucking jerk all around and he doesn’t care.

At the same time, the look on his face when you come home just makes a bad day better with his long tail smacking against the TV stand, making an audible thud.  His fur smells like maple syrup. I SHIT YOU NOT. Every time i smell him i crave waffles and pancakes and french toast. its so delightful and satisfying when i bury my face in fur and stroke his velvety ears.  Whenever I sneeze he freaks out, climbs on top of me, then sniffs my face and simultaneously licks me to make sure that I’m still alive and breathing. He is super gentle when taking a treat out of your hand. And he freaks out whenever he hears the sound of the toilet flush and the vacuum turned on.  Yesterday we decided to play with giant bubbles and we found out that is is also afraid of the these soapy floating objects. He’ll sit next to you and put his head in your lap and will be all up in your business when he notices you’re eating something.  There’s times when I hate him which is mainly when he’s being annoying or i found out that he chewed up something of mine, or when I’m trying to sleep and he won’t shut the fuck up. But for the most part I love him. The puppy phase is tough and feels like its taking forever for him to be more calm and “mature”, but it will go by in a flash.  He’s already grown about 4 inches and thats just been a month!

I’m not used to having, what will be, such a large dog in the house where I’m watching it grow up.  All of my dogs have been on the smaller side. He amazes me everyday with whatever new trick he seems to learn and which ultimately will probably get him in trouble.  It wouldn’t surprise me to see that he climbed the tree in our front yard and he’s just perched on a branch.  If that day does come, we are so fucked.

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